var saturdayQ; var sundayQ; var mondayQ; var tuesdayQ; var wednesdayQ; var thursdayQ; var fridayQ; if (null==saturdayQ) saturdayQ = new Array(); saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It is not length of life, but depth of life.\"
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"Any religion used to justify violence against another person is most certainly the worship of pure evil.\"
- - anonymous
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.\"
- - Mark Twain
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"First they ignore you , then they laugh at you , then they fight you , then you win.\"
- - Mahatma Gandhi
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.\"
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] ="
\"It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees.\"
- - Arabic proverb
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] ="
\"Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.\"
-- The New Testament (NIV) Matthew 22:21
"; if (null==sundayQ) sundayQ = new Array(); sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In the wildness is the preservation of the world.\"
- - Henry David Thoreau
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden Of Eden to work it and take care of it.\"
- - The Old Testament (NIV) Genesis 2:15
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.\"
-- Kahlil Gibran
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"The superior man understands what is right. The inferior man understands what will sell.\"
- - Confucius
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.\"
- - W.B. Prescott
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"Imagination is more important than knowledge.\"
- - Albert Einstein
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"Ignorance and freedom are incompatible.\"
- - Thomas Jefferson
"; if (null==mondayQ) mondayQ = new Array(); mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
What we have here is.....
\"If you don't know where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken.\"
- - Large software company's ad slogan, translated into Japanese
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
Humor in the Court - - Question: \"Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.\"
- - Robert Frost
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
humor: \"A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,\"Do you serve lawyers here?\"
\"Sure do,\" replied the bartender.\"Good,\" said the man. \"Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator.\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.\"
- - Kahlil Gibran
"; if (null==tuesdayQ) tuesdayQ = new Array(); tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Behold the warranty -- the large print giveth and the fine print taketh away.\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"First they ignore you , then they laugh at you , then they fight you , then you win.\"
- - Mahatma Gandhi
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in an east coast restaurant: \"Customers who find our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.\"
- - Robert Frost
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Humor in the Court: Question: \"Were you aquainted with the deceased?\" Answer: \"Yes, sir.\" Question: \"Before or after he died?\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, \' I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - - all she had to live on.\' \"
- - The New Testament (NIV) Mark 13:43
"; if (null==wednesdayQ) wednesdayQ = new Array(); wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has been poisoned, only after the last fish has been caught,only then will you find that money cannot be eaten\"
- - Cree (Native American) Prophecy
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Remember the Golden Rule.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"The degree of technical confidence is inversely proportional to the level of management.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"First they ignore you , then they laugh at you , then they fight you , then you win.\"
- - Mahatma Gandhi
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\" Is it not written: \" \'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations\' ? But you have made it a \'den of robbers\'.\"
-- The New Testament (NIV) Mark 11:17
"; if (null==thursdayQ) thursdayQ = new Array(); thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
Say what?
\"Will you loan me $20.00 and only give me ten of it? That way, you will owe me ten, and I'll owe you ten, and we'll be even!\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
Humor in the Court - - Question: (Showing man picture.) \"That's you?\" Answer:
\"Yes, sir.\" Question: \"And you were present when the picture was taken, right?\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the authorities search you.\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. \"
- - Emerson
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
Is this for real?
\"In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless\"
- - Sinclair Lewis
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Of what you see in books, believe 75%. Of newspapers, believe 50%. And of TV news, believe 25%
-- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.\"
"; if (null==fridayQ) fridayQ = new Array(); fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
This can't be...
Sign in a florida maternity ward: \" No children allowed.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.\"
- - Confucius
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.\"
- - T.H. White
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Lavish spending can be disastrous. Don't buy any lavishes for a while.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Atlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.\"
";